Blogg-Ed Indetermination

Tuesday, 1 Apr 2009 7:00 pm EDT DUBAI, UNITED ARAB EMIRATES (Reuters)

An American oil company announced today that it has acquired the exclusive distribution rights to sunshine. Speaking before an sitting-room only audience at the OPEC Conference being held in Dubai, Exxon-Mobile Chairman and CEO Rex W. Tillerson surprised the audience of oil-producing countries by telling them  “you can go pedal your oil to Shell or some other loser. The future is solar, and we control it!”

Outraged conference attendees immediately condemned the announcement. “It’s a blatant power-grab by an American government desperate to reassert its dominance in a world in which they are dependent on foreign oil, our oil!” said a high ranking Saudi Arabian official speaking anonymously for fear of being beheaded. Venezuelan President Hugo Chavez taunted, “We’ll see about that! Wait until I tell Fidel!” and stormed out of the meeting. Iranian President  Mahmoud Ahmadinejad was seen busily consulting his scientists to see if the American company’s claim included nuclear fusion.

A few officials from other countries sounded a more conciliatory note. An Afghan delegate, speaking off the record for fear of being made to walk girls to school in a Taliban-controlled village, quipped : “I’m sure we can come to some accommodation with the Americans. After all, they need our, ah, pharmaceutical products as much as we need their sunshine.”

The Russians seemed to be stunned by the American claim. Vladimir Putin was overheard directing an aide to immediately stake a claim on the planets Mercury and Venus, setting off fears of a solar system-wide planet grab.

White House Press Secretary Robert Gibbs announced that the administration was reviewing the announcement. “As you know, the President is a strong proponent of alternative energy sources. In addition, we have promised the American people that this administration would not be a place where ‘business as usual’ would prevail. We are listening to both Wall Street and Main Street, and stand ready to work with members of Congress from both sides of the aisle to resolve the deep issues confronting this nation.”

Tillerson further announced that Exxon-Mobile would be pursuing related claims and developing new technologies to exploit sunshine. “Even as we speak, our scientists are working on a way to permanently remove the blot of clouds from the face of the earth. Clouds are a huge threat to solar efficiency, and the whole planet suffers as a result.”  Asked about the need for rain that comes from clouds Tillerson dismissed that as “unproven.” “The earth has always had clouds. How do we know it needs them until we try a couple of centuries without them?” he said.

Asked if Exxon-Mobile would be partnering with any other companies to deliver solar power, an Exxon spokesman, asking for anonymity out of concern of being rendered to an undisclosed location, said “Our partner’s names starts with H and ends in burton. That’s all I can say.”

The Wall Street blogosphere immediately reacted with pundits suggesting that Exxon-Mobile will branch into other sun-related areas. The Wall Street Journal, in an editorial, suggested that a move into entertainment was logical for Exxon-Mobile, and that all music, film, and books with “sun” or “sunshine” in the title may be subject to royalty claims.

Elements of the Christian right are mobilizing to lobby Congress for a constitutional amendment to allow them to continue to worship on Sunday without interference. Other faith groups countered saying that the Lord commandeth to keep the Sabbath holy, which is technically a Saturday. There was no immediate comment from non-believers.

Environmental groups, long opponents of Exxon-Mobile since the Valdez oil spill in Prince William Sound in 1989, applauded the company’s move from fossil fuels to renewable energy but expressed doubts about the corporate giant’s ability to manage the sun. Sierra Club Executive Director Carl Pope issued a statement “After two decades, the memory of the spill persists for the commercial fishermen and Alaska natives whose livelihoods were destroyed by Exxon’s recklessness. Sadly, the oil persists, too: A 2007 National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration study showed that 26,600 gallons of crude oil from the spill are still lingering below the surface of Alaska’s beaches.… To think of putting the same people in charge of the Sun is nuts. They’d end up boiling the oceans.”

Former President George W. Bush interrupted his bass fishing trip to issue the following statement. “Hell of a job, Tilly! Heh, heh.”

If Barack Obama lives up to only a half of the expectations heaped on his shoulders by the American public and the world, he will be the greatest president in history.

Our collective hopes for him are unrealistic, something we should acknowledge now lest we set ourselves up for disappointment. More importantly, we should recognize that the all this President’s horses and all this President’s men can’t put this country together again without the efforts of all Americans. And yes, this means you.

The best leaders don’t do things for you; they enable you to do things by removing barriers and encouraging risk, supporting those who try even if the try ends in failure. Most of all they bring out the best in us and remind us that we are the “we” in “we the people.”

This advice, these platitudes, apply not only to our pols or to our pals. They apply also to our enemies, those we dislike, can’t stand, or think are weird. Those people who regularly push our buttons, piss us off, cause us to roll our eyes, raise our blood pressure, and think dark thoughts about them, their children, and their little dog, too.

Psychologist Carl Jung wrote extensively about our shadow selves. I have found this to be an invaluable construct in understanding myself in general, and the visceral negative reactions I have to some people. Jung would say that my negative reaction is due to my identification with my shadow self that I see in the other. We fear that what web see in the other is also in us, or as Walt Kelly famously wrote, “We have met the enemy and he is us.” This is why it is necessary for us to embrace our opposites, our “enemies.” And perhaps, subconsciously, this is what led Lincoln to create his “team of rivals,” many comparisons to which are being made to Obama and his cabinet.

If Obama–if we–are to have any chance of turning this nation around we have to embrace our shadow selves as we embrace those with whom we disagree. Embrace not for purposes of squeezing the life out of them, knocking sense into them, or keeping their mouths shut. But an embrace that says I may not agree with you, but I will listen to you and respect you. Who you would put on your personal team of rivals? What will you do to help Mr. Obama?